Originally published on my LinkedIn
80% of the new year’s resolutions fail by February. 2020 was such a terrible year, a lot of us decided to just focus on getting through the next day. As difficult as it was, I’m proud that I achieved most of my 2020 resolutions: I read 24 books, exercised at least four times in 50 weeks, and had one-on-one meetings (in real life or virtually) with 52 new people. Below are some learnings I gained from the experience.
Learning 1: Set attainable goals and break them down into smaller pieces
I didn’t wake up on January 1, 2020 and decided that I wanted to walk on the moon. In fact, I was already practicing most of my goals the year before, so I knew I could achieve them with a bit more efforts: I was already exercising regularly and all I needed was more consistency; I read 12 books in 2019 and doubling it seemed reasonable; I met new people all the time and I only needed more discipline. While it’s important to have a long-term vision, I believe the key to success in this case is to aim lower.
As this New York Times article suggests, instead of setting lofty goals, I broke down my resolutions to monthly and weekly plans, so that they are more concrete and attainable. For example, when I told people my goal was to meet 52 new people in 2020, most people’s reaction was “wow, that’s so many!” But when I broke it down to a weekly level — I only needed to meet one new person per week — it became less daunting.
Learning 2: Track your progress!
Just like any goals, your new year’s resolutions need regular status check-ins. Everyone has different methods, mine was an excel sheet to help me keep track of my resolutions (a typical MBA move). Every Sunday evening, I’d key in the number of days I exercised, numbers of books I read and people I met. Not only did this help me stay on the course, it also gave me a weekly sense of achievements. And these gratifications played a large part to keep me going.
Learning 3: Be kind to yourself
I didn’t achieve one of my 2020 resolutions: before the pandemic, lunch in the Facebook cafeteria was a big deal. Not only was the food amazing, it was also a chance for people to network, build rapport, and establish friendship. So one of my resolutions was to have lunch with someone I don’t normally do at least once a week. However, as the pandemic hit and offices closed, this goal became difficult to achieve. I tried virtual lunches for a couple months but eventually couldn’t keep it going.
I didn’t beat myself up: research shows that the feelings of shame and guilt after a setback often leads to total give-in. This is why many people give up on their new year’s resolutions after the first time they missed a gym session or drank a soda. While I still kept the goal, I practiced self-compassion when I realized I couldn’t achieve it: it’s OK if I didn’t achieve all my goals, there’s a pandemic out there and I’m doing the best I can. This has helped me keep a positive outlook through the year and focus on things I CAN control.
Have a great new year and let me know if you have any resolutions, and more important, plans to achieve them.
