Last year around this time, I wrote my “2021 Vision,” and it begins with this: “It’s December 31, 2021. As I wait for a new year, I feel I have been challenged and stretched this year. But in the end, I’m content with the growth I gained from these challenges.”
Well, it is December 31, 2021. And I have definitely been challenged and stretched this year. Am I content? I will get to that later.
There used to be a few years in my life where nothing seemed to change year over year. Gone are those static days: every year in the last six year was full of changes, and 2021 was no exception. These changes can be summarized in two words: stuck and breakthrough. I felt stuck with certain things throughout the year; I was able to work on these situations to reach breakthroughs, however painful they might be. Meanwhile, there are still a lot things I could not change, and had to make peace with the “stuck” situation.
Career wise, at the beginning of 2021, I felt I was reaching a point in my previous role where further growth would be limited and a change was necessary. Career development had been something on my mind so making a change was not a surprise to anyone. Nevertheless, it was still a draining and lengthy process. I got rejected for a role I worked really hard for, but fortunately, I ended up getting a great role partly due to continuous relationship cultivation. And I am proud of the conscious steps I have taken to take my career further, and more importantly, to continue learning and growing.
Personally, for the most part of 2021, I worked really hard to nurture a relationship. Unfortunately, we came to a realization that we wanted different things and made the difficult decision to end it. It was tough and is still hurting, but in a way it was a “breakthrough” for me as I was honest and brave, and learned how to love a little better.
Externally, the pandemic continued to make me feel stuck. I have not seen my family for two years now and it is the biggest stresspoint. I’m not the only one, some friends left, some are planning to leave, more are suffering one way or another. Being able to travel to Canada at the end of the year created a nice breathing room for me. However, two years of pandemic has put me (and many others) in a constant reactive “fight or flight” mode, and that has taken a toll on my mental health.
Now back to the original question: am I content with the growth in 2021? Yes. Although I didn’t achieve everything I envisioned myself to do, I am at peace with my progress.
Remember I mentioned the static years in my earlier life? I don’t want that anymore. And 2021 further proved to me that I CAN grow: when I see a need to make a change, I make conscious efforts to work on myself and improve the situation. In addition to the efforts I put in my career and relationship, I continued to enrich myself, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I can’t let 2021 go without mentioning my friends: I can’t imagine myself without them this year. I am so happy for all the progress they’ve made in their lives and I’m beyond grateful that I have found a group of people close to my family in this difficult year.
My hope for myself in 2022 is two words too: curious and compassion. And I will come back to report on these two next year.
